18th Birthday Diary

Got my 6^th year dissertation handed in, on my birthday of all days. The only person who said happy birthday to me was the new English teacher, Miss (Deleted). She’s really young and also seriously sexy. We don’t get her for English but Stevie said he had her once and she was talking about how much she was into the Smiths! Also - she wears these really low-cut tops. There was one day last year I was off -Christopher Guthrie said he dropped his pencil on purpose and she bent down to pick it up for him and she wasn’t wearing a bra and he SAW EVERYTHING. I cannot believe I was off that day.

Christopher is a bit of a weirdo though. He used to sit in History class scratching out ‘Satan stars’ on the desktop - even though what he was actually drawing was the Jewish star of David. And that certainly doesn’t have anything to do with the occult.

Went to the common room where I chatted for a bit with Simon. I don’t know how he managed to get off with Naomi who is actually sort of okay. Nothing he says is ever actually all that funny, although he does have alright taste in music. Today we were swapping Kula Shaker singles.

I’ve decided Cara is weird. We usually walk home together now, cos she lives just down the street from me. I don’t know why but she laughs hysterically at everything I say. Sure, I am really funny (unlike Simon). But no one’s that funny. She reminds me a bit of Stacey with the scar on her cheek who disappeared and no one knows where she is now. She also used to laugh hysterically. Especially that one time she tricked me into going carol-singing.

Gavin is also weird. We were walking home again and he came up to me and whispered: “Do you think you’re something special? Well, let me tell you this - you’re not. You are nothing! you are… a piece of SHIT!” Then he ran off at great speed. He says he has to get home so he can watch the snooker. I’ve never been interested in snooker.

Printed out the 12 poems I wrote yesterday. Plus, the novel’s really coming along. Hopefully by the time I’m about 21, I’ll be a famous published writer and making a living out of it, so I won’t have to keep applying for terrible jobs. And there’s university to look forwards to.

It’s looking like Labour might get into power in May. Tony Blair is definitely going to be a good prime minister. He’s actually kind of young, compared to most politicians. Plus, apparently if he gets elected, I might have a better chance of getting a job. Result!

I think my brother is still a witch. Gavin said he saw him up the woods drinking beer and wearing a dog collar. Even worse than that - he’s still listening to Bjork. I HATE Bjork.